Chronic Guilt & Shame Symptoms Checklist

Feelings of guilt and shame are normal, but when these emotions become chronic, they can weigh heavily on mental health, self-esteem, and relationships. This checklist can help you identify if guilt and shame are playing a persistent, negative role in your life, especially if you’ve experienced difficult or invalidating situations growing up. Recognizing these patterns is an empowering step toward self-acceptance and emotional freedom.

*Disclaimer

This checklist is designed for personal reflection and is not intended as a substitute for professional guidance. The questions are based on personal experiences and may help you identify potential patterns.  Self-awareness is important, but it's crucial to seek professional support for accurate assessment and treatment. 

This website does not provide medical or psychological advice, and we are not responsible for any interpretations or actions taken based on the results of this checklist.

Section 1: Self-Worth and Self-Criticism

1. Do you frequently feel unworthy or undeserving of love and happiness?

2. Are you overly critical of yourself, even for minor mistakes?

3. Do you feel like you need to be perfect to be accepted or valued by others?

4. Are you quick to blame yourself when things go wrong, even if it’s not your fault?

5. Do you find it hard to forgive yourself for past mistakes or shortcomings?

6. Do you often compare yourself unfavorably to others, feeling “not good enough”?

7. Do you think others would be better off without you, or that you’re a burden?

8. Are you constantly focused on what you’ve done wrong rather than what you’ve done right?

9. Do you feel ashamed about aspects of yourself, like your personality, appearance, or past?

10. Do you believe that if people knew the “real you,” they wouldn’t like or accept you?

Section 2: Over-Apologizing and People-Pleasing

1. Do you frequently apologize, even when it’s not necessary or your fault?

2. Do you feel responsible for other people’s happiness, often at the expense of your own?

3. Are you quick to take on extra work or say “yes” to avoid disappointing others?

4. Do you often worry about offending others, even unintentionally?

5. Do you feel anxious when setting boundaries, fearing it might seem selfish?

6. Are you uncomfortable receiving praise or compliments, feeling you don’t deserve them?

7. Do you find yourself agreeing with others to avoid conflict, even if you disagree?

8. Do you often neglect your needs to prioritize others, fearing judgment or rejection?

9. Do you feel guilt or anxiety after expressing your own needs or preferences?

10. Are you driven to constantly make amends, even if others haven’t indicated any offense?

Section 3: Avoidance and Emotional Withdrawal

1. Do you avoid situations where you might make mistakes or fail?

2. Do you find yourself withdrawing from relationships to avoid burdening others?

3. Do you feel uneasy in social situations, fearing you’ll embarrass yourself?

4. Are you hesitant to take risks, fearing that failure would confirm your “unworthiness”?

5. Do you avoid sharing your opinions or thoughts, worried they might be judged?

6. Are you quick to retreat emotionally when others get too close or express affection?

7. Do you feel disconnected from positive emotions like pride or satisfaction?

8. Do you often numb your feelings with distractions, like TV, social media, or work?

9. Do you withdraw from people or situations where you feel you “don’t belong”?

10. Do you isolate yourself to avoid the fear of being “found out” or exposed?

Section 4: Impact on Relationships and Communication

1. Do you find it hard to trust that others care about you or want to spend time with you?

2. Do you worry that friends or loved ones will leave if they know your “flaws”?

3. Are you reluctant to ask for help, feeling like you should “handle it on your own”?

4. Do you feel unworthy of close, supportive relationships?

5. Are you hesitant to express emotions, fearing it will make you seem weak?

6. Do you often feel resentful because you give more in relationships than you receive?

7. Do you feel a strong need to “prove” yourself to others in relationships?

8. Do you find yourself pushing people away to avoid being judged or rejected?

9. Do you fear that your friends or family are secretly disappointed in you?

10. Do you believe that your relationships are based more on obligation than genuine affection?

Section 5: Persistent Guilt and Self-Blame

1. Do you feel guilty about things that happened long ago, even if they’re resolved?

2. Are you burdened by feeling responsible for other people’s happiness or success?

3. Do you dwell on your past mistakes, replaying them repeatedly in your mind?

4. Are you quick to take responsibility for situations outside of your control?

5. Do you feel guilty when prioritizing self-care, like taking time for yourself?

6. Are you haunted by feelings of guilt when setting boundaries with others?

7. Do you often feel guilty for simply saying “no” to requests?

8. Are you hard on yourself for feeling certain emotions, like anger or frustration?

9. Do you blame yourself for other people’s behavior or feelings?

10. Do you feel responsible for “fixing” everything in your life, even when it’s unrealistic?

Scoring Guide

- High Likelihood of Chronic Guilt and Shame (Over 60 “Yes” responses): 

 

This score indicates that feelings of guilt and shame are likely a significant influence in your life. These patterns often develop from past difficult experiences and can benefit from compassionate support to help transform how you see yourself.

- Moderate Likelihood of Chronic Guilt and Shame (30-59 “Yes” responses): 

Your responses suggest a moderate presence of guilt and shame, which may affect certain areas of your life. Working on specific areas of self-acceptance and setting boundaries can be valuable steps.

- Low Likelihood of Chronic Guilt and Shame (0-29 “Yes” responses): 

Your responses indicate that while you may feel occasional guilt or shame, they likely don’t dominate your overall well-being. Reflecting on any specific areas can still offer insight for personal growth.

Conclusion

Carrying guilt and shame from past experiences can feel overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that these emotions don’t define you. 

Recognizing these feelings and understanding their roots can be incredibly empowering, helping you to move forward with greater self-compassion and resilience. 

Seeking support—whether from friends, support groups, or professionals—can be a transformative part of healing and can guide you toward a more self-accepting and fulfilling life. Healing is possible, and with time, you can learn to feel more connected, worthy, and whole.

If you found this checklist useful, check out our full collection of resources. Share these with friends and family to spread awareness and help others recognize important signs.

You might also enjoy exploring our “Resilient Soul Collection” of products which is specially designed for those who have experienced family scapegoating, grown up in dysfunctional families, dealt with narcissistic parenting, or are childhood trauma survivors.