Gaslighting and Emotional Manipulation Detection Checklist
Gaslighting and emotional manipulation are tactics often used by people who seek control in relationships, whether intentional or not. These behaviors can make you doubt your reality, feel insecure, and question your worth.
This checklist is designed to help you recognize these subtle or overt forms of manipulation, helping you to protect yourself and, if needed, seek support. Trust that awareness is the first step towards restoring your sense of self.
*Disclaimer
This checklist is designed for personal reflection and is not intended as a substitute for professional guidance. The questions are based on personal experiences and may help you identify potential patterns. Self-awareness is important, but it's crucial to seek professional support for accurate assessment and treatment.
This website does not provide medical or psychological advice, and we are not responsible for any interpretations or actions taken based on the results of this checklist.
Section 1: Questioning Your Reality
1. Do you frequently feel confused or uncertain about what is real and what isn’t?
2. Have you been told that things you remember clearly never happened?
3. Do you find yourself questioning your perception of events after conversations with certain people?
4. Do you often feel like you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting” when expressing your feelings?
5. Are you frequently told that your emotions are irrational or exaggerated?
6. Have you been made to doubt your own memories, even though you’re sure of them?
7. Do you feel like you’re losing confidence in your own judgments?
8. Has someone close to you denied their hurtful actions, claiming you’re imagining things?
9. Do you sometimes feel like you’re “walking on eggshells” around a particular person?
10. Do you feel disoriented or confused about what’s real after an argument?
Section 2: Blaming and Shifting Responsibility
1. Are you often blamed for things that go wrong, even when it doesn’t seem like it’s your fault?
2. Have you been made to feel responsible for others’ emotions or reactions?
3. Do certain people make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself?
4. Is your well-being overlooked in favor of focusing on the needs or problems of others?
5. Do you find yourself apologizing frequently, even if you’re not at fault?
6. Have people in your life shifted the blame onto you when they’re in the wrong?
7. Do you feel guilty or ashamed often after interacting with specific people?
8. Are you made to feel that you’re responsible for maintaining peace, even if it’s unfair?
9. Have you been accused of “making things up” when sharing your perspective?
10. Do you feel obligated to “make things right” when others get upset?
Section 3: Undermining Your Self-Worth
1. Are you criticized or belittled for your thoughts, beliefs, or achievements?
2. Have people close to you told you that you’ll “never succeed” or are “not good enough”?
3. Do certain people use sarcasm or “jokes” to put you down in front of others?
4. Do you feel less confident about your abilities after conversations with them?
5. Are your ideas or opinions dismissed, ignored, or ridiculed?
6. Do you feel inferior or worthless around certain family members or friends?
7. Have you been told you’re “lucky” to have someone tolerate you?
8. Are you frequently compared to others in a way that feels demeaning?
9. Do you feel that others control or judge your life choices?
10. Have your dreams or goals been minimized, called “unrealistic” or “silly”?
Section 4: Creating Dependency and Isolation
1. Do certain people discourage you from spending time with other friends or family members?
2. Have you been told that no one else will “put up with” or “love” you like they do?
3. Do you feel guilty for wanting a life separate from certain people?
4. Are your decisions often questioned or criticized, making you doubt your choices?
5. Do you feel isolated or cut off from social support networks because of them?
6. Have they created a sense that you “owe” them for their support or care?
7. Are you discouraged from talking about your relationships with others?
8. Have you been led to believe that no one else would “understand” or “care” for you?
9. Are you subtly made to feel incompetent or incapable without their help?
10. Do you feel trapped in a relationship because they’ve convinced you that you “need” them?
Section 5: Gaslighting Tactics and Manipulative Language
1. Have you heard phrases like “You’re imagining things,” or “That never happened”?
2. Are you frequently told you’re “too emotional” or “too dramatic”?
3. Do people say you’re “remembering wrong” or “making things up”?
4. Have they ever said, “Everyone agrees with me” or “No one else thinks that”?
5. Do they deny promises or commitments they made to you?
6. Do you hear things like “You’re being paranoid” when expressing concerns?
7. Are you accused of being “ungrateful” when you voice issues?
8. Do they dismiss your experiences as “not a big deal” or “all in your head”?
9. Are you told you “can’t take a joke” when they make hurtful comments?
10. Have they insisted that you’re “imagining things” or that your emotions aren’t valid?
Scoring Guide
- High Tendency for Experiencing Gaslighting (Over 60 “Yes” responses):
Your responses indicate a strong presence of gaslighting or manipulative behaviors around you. If these behaviors are affecting your well-being, consider seeking support to affirm your reality and regain your confidence. Therapy can be a helpful resource in reclaiming your emotional stability and setting boundaries.
- Moderate Tendency for Experiencing Gaslighting (30-59 “Yes” responses):
You may have encountered some gaslighting or manipulative behaviors, but you might also have an awareness of your boundaries and worth. Reflecting on these areas and setting clear boundaries can help you continue to maintain a grounded perspective.
- Low Tendency for Experiencing Gaslighting (0-29 “Yes” responses):
Your responses suggest a relatively healthy environment with few indicators of manipulation. Still, it’s beneficial to stay mindful of any signs of gaslighting to safeguard your emotional and mental well-being.
Conclusion
Recognizing gaslighting and emotional manipulation can be difficult, especially if you’ve experienced it repeatedly over time. Remember that your feelings, experiences, and memories are valid.
If you feel that gaslighting may be affecting your well-being, reach out for support and surround yourself with individuals who affirm your sense of self. Healing from these experiences is possible, and seeking guidance from trusted resources can empower you to regain confidence, strength, and independence.
If you found this checklist useful, check out our full collection of resources. Share these with friends and family to spread awareness and help others recognize important signs.
You might also enjoy exploring our “Resilient Soul Collection” of products which is specially designed for those who have experienced family scapegoating, grown up in dysfunctional families, dealt with narcissistic parenting, or are childhood trauma survivors.