Self-Compassion & Care Challenges Checklist

Self-care and self-compassion are essential parts of well-being, yet they can feel difficult or even undeserved for those who’ve experienced criticism, neglect, or low self-worth in childhood. 

This checklist is designed to help you identify if you’re struggling to prioritize your own needs and to encourage small steps towards embracing self-care. Remember, self-compassion is not self-indulgence—it’s a crucial aspect of mental and emotional health, and you are worthy of it.

*Disclaimer

This checklist is designed for personal reflection and is not intended as a substitute for professional guidance. The questions are based on personal experiences and may help you identify potential patterns. Self-awareness is important, but it's crucial to seek professional support for accurate assessment and treatment. 

This website does not provide medical or psychological advice, and we are not responsible for any interpretations or actions taken based on the results of this checklist.

Section 1: Struggles with Prioritizing Self-Care

1. Do you often feel that self-care is unnecessary or a low priority?

2. Are you uncomfortable taking time for yourself, feeling it’s selfish or indulgent?

3. Do you regularly neglect basic needs like sleep, healthy meals, or relaxation?

4. Do you feel guilty or anxious when you take time for yourself?

5. Do you tend to push through exhaustion rather than allowing yourself to rest?

6. Are you often more focused on others' needs than your own, even when you're drained?

7. Do you avoid seeking out things that bring you joy or relaxation?

8. Do you feel that self-care is a “reward” you must earn, rather than a necessity?

9. Are you reluctant to invest in activities that contribute to your well-being, like hobbies or exercise?

10. Do you feel that taking care of yourself is a waste of time?

Section 2: Difficulty Practicing Self-Compassion

1. Do you struggle to forgive yourself for mistakes, even minor ones?

2. Are you often harsh or critical toward yourself when things don’t go perfectly?

3. Do you feel unworthy of kindness, either from yourself or others?

4. Are you prone to judging yourself more harshly than you would judge others?

5. Do you find it difficult to offer yourself comforting or encouraging words?

6. Are you uncomfortable with acknowledging your achievements or positive qualities?

7. Do you believe that you have to “earn” self-compassion by doing everything perfectly?

8. Do you often replay your perceived flaws or failures in your mind?

9. Are you quick to blame yourself when things go wrong, even if it’s beyond your control?

10. Do you avoid self-care practices because you feel you don’t deserve them?

Section 3: Signs of Burnout and Emotional Exhaustion

1. Do you feel emotionally drained or “empty” much of the time?

2. Are you often too tired to enjoy activities that would typically bring you happiness?

3. Do you frequently feel overwhelmed or “on edge” with daily responsibilities?

4. Do you find yourself mentally or emotionally checked out, even during relaxing moments?

5. Are you quick to become irritable or frustrated, even with small inconveniences?

6. Do you often push through exhaustion instead of taking breaks or resting?

7. Are you numb or disconnected from your own emotions and needs?

8. Do you frequently have difficulty getting out of bed or starting the day?

9. Are you experiencing physical symptoms, like headaches or muscle tension, due to stress?

10. Do you feel that there’s no time or energy left for self-care by the end of the day?

Section 4: Difficulty Setting Boundaries to Protect Well-Being

1. Do you find it challenging to say “no” to others, even when you’re overwhelmed?

2. Are you uncomfortable setting boundaries, fearing it will make others upset?

3. Do you often sacrifice your well-being to accommodate others' requests?

4. Are you hesitant to speak up when someone oversteps or takes advantage of your time?

5. Do you feel guilty when you try to prioritize your own needs?

6. Do you often let work or responsibilities consume your time, neglecting personal activities?

7. Are you more concerned with pleasing others than with your own peace of mind?

8. Do you struggle with setting limits, even when you know you’re at capacity?

9. Are you often in relationships that drain or overwhelm you without mutual support?

10. Do you find yourself ignoring or “pushing through” your limits regularly?

Section 5: Lack of Positive Self-Talk and Inner Support

1. Do you often speak to yourself in a negative or critical way?

2. Are you more likely to focus on your flaws than on your strengths?

3. Do you feel uncomfortable giving yourself praise, even for accomplishments?

4. Are you reluctant to forgive yourself for past mistakes?

5. Do you frequently compare yourself to others and feel “less than”?

6. Are you quick to dismiss or minimize your own emotions?

7. Do you tend to downplay your successes or feel they aren’t “good enough”?

8. Are you uncomfortable reassuring yourself in times of stress or anxiety?

9. Do you avoid showing kindness to yourself, feeling it’s “too soft” or “undeserved”?

10. Are you your own harshest critic, focusing on your perceived shortcomings?

Scoring Guide

- High Tendency for Self-Care and Self-Compassion Difficulties (Over 60 “Yes” responses): 

Your responses indicate that you may find it especially challenging to prioritize your own well-being and treat yourself with kindness. It might be beneficial to explore ways to build self-compassion and self-acceptance. Working with a counselor or therapist can also be a helpful step toward reclaiming the self-care you deserve.

- Moderate Tendency for Self-Care and Self-Compassion Difficulties (30-59 “Yes” responses): 

Your answers suggest that while self-care and self-compassion may be somewhat challenging, you may already have some awareness of their importance. Finding small ways to incorporate self-care into your routine can be beneficial, and practicing self-compassion in daily life can gradually help shift these habits.

- Low Tendency for Self-Care and Self-Compassion Difficulties (0-29 “Yes” responses): 

This score suggests that while you may sometimes struggle with self-care, you likely have a relatively healthy relationship with prioritizing your own needs and practicing self-compassion.

Conclusion

Self-care and self-compassion are acts of self-respect, allowing us to nurture our well-being and maintain emotional resilience. Struggling with these areas is understandable, especially for those who have been conditioned to put others first or to judge themselves harshly. 

Remember, taking time for self-care and treating yourself with compassion doesn’t make you selfish or weak—it makes you human. Embrace small steps toward self-kindness, and know that you are deserving of care and compassion.

If you found this checklist useful, check out our full collection of resources. Share these with friends and family to spread awareness and help others recognize important signs.

You might also enjoy exploring our “Resilient Soul Collection” of products which is specially designed for those who have experienced family scapegoating, grown up in dysfunctional families, dealt with narcissistic parenting, or are childhood trauma survivors.